I watched my mother as she sat in her favorite chair, leaning back with her eyes closed, completely engulfed in the soft leather folds. She was humming to herself, with a half smile on her face. Curious, I asked her what the name of the song was she humming. It's called In the Pines, she answered me. Your grandmother used to sing that song when the wind would come up and blow through the pine trees that surrounded the house we used lived in.
"In the Pines, In the Pines,
Where the sun never shines,
and we shiver when the cold wind blows...
I remember slightly catching my breath, this was a little unusual for my mother. Later, I would learn that as we come close to death, it is not uncommon to begin to recall those who have passed away before we us. She passed away within a few days of this conversation. I found myself on the internet not too long afterward searching for the house surrounded with the tall pine trees. I finally located it and as I stared at it, the memories came flooding back. My grandfather had built this house, as he had so many others that my mother and her nine siblings had grown up in. This wasn't the first home he had built, but it was the one I remember the most. As I stared at it, it was if I could the hear the memories as vividly as I could almost see them, as if they were happening again. Vignettes of good food, holidays and the warmth of family togetherness. It was as if the flood gates had opened and instead of the wind blowing those huge pine trees, I could hear the voices still, blowing through those pine trees, like whispers.
The house that built me, so to speak, as the song goes, "we leave home, we move on, and you do the best you can "(The House that Built Me, Miranda Lambert), some of us get lost in this old world and forget who we are. I've traveled back to touch this house one more time...sharing my journey of God's grace to heal the brokeness inside me.
